Health Screening

I recently received a bill for lab work from my “free” health screening my Insurance provided for me to insure my good health. You may or may not imagine my thoughts on this, it doesn’t matter because my thoughts changed again when I received the explanation of my benefits.


March 10th, 2014

Dear Sir/Madam/Dependent/Spouse/Other/Dependent#2,

This notice is to inform you that the procedure/treatment performed on February 19, 2014 is not covered under your health plan by reason code L0L.

Receiving an explanation of benefits showing that a service was not covered can be confusing and frustrating. You may have figured out that your coverage contains a wide range of benefits and resources unavailable to you. You might wonder if, deep down, we care about your health or mock you in times of illness or injury. You might feel that we are dashing your 2014 New Year’s Health Resolution to smithereens. You might be wrong (which is a medical condition we do not cover).

We are here to help. To assist you in understanding how your health plan works.

If you have questions about how we have not paid your claims, our staff is available to converse with you Monday through Tuesday, 8 a.m.-8:30 a.m., in Code, pig Latin, or emojis. If you need assistance filing an appeal, we would be happy to send you a next-step guide in randomized algorithms.

We look forward to serving you and your healthcare needs! Isthay is otnay an illingbay!

Please retain for your records.

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