So proud of myself not to be tempted by the Easter Bunny,
I’m sorry to hear that some women don’t have a lot of willpower. Not to brag, but I personally have a tremendous amount of willpower. In fact, I haven’t even touched the many SWEET JESUS I WOULD KILL FOR A F*$#ING CHOCOLATE EGG, AND MARSHMALLOW CHICKEN Peeps I bought for my Cutie Patootie’s Easter Basket. Nope, not a single piece of scrumptious, Cadbury Cream Easter Egg has passed by my determined red lips.
You see, I am not tempted, it’s important to remember that dieting OMG, A BASKET OF jellybeansAMPHETAMINE is a mental game. And one needs to stay strong of mind and appreciate that your body’s health is far more important than GET INTO MY MOUF, YOU DELICIOUS MILK CHOCOLATE BUNNY RABBIT a few moments of sugary weakness. For it is our strength that keeps us looking good and feeling good, is it not?
That’s why a powerful, clearheaded woman like yours truly never, ever I’m GONNA LICK YOU ALL OVER LIKE A STRIPPER POLE, BABY BOTTLE CANDY DIP POP even look at my Luv Puppies Easter candy basket until The Easter Bunny comes. Out of sight, out of mind, my friend. So my advice to some women out there is to stop being so weak and AWWW, YEAH, 50 SHADES OF PEZ IN YOUR CHICKEN-HEAD DISPENSER pathetic and eat an apple instead. If more people would do that, they would be proud of them self, but more important to note is that when I decide to have a THREE MUSKETEERS 3-WAY with a Cream Egg Cocktail, I will be ready to bunny hop around the kitchen with my SugahBoogah!
FYI- There is a wine to go with your favorite Easter candies. From Peeps to Cadbury eggs to chocolate bunnies – there’s a wine to go with all of them. Goes to show that Easter candy isn’t just for kids anymore.