Monthly Archives: July 2013

How to get your SEXY back

How to get your SEXY back. Why is my ass getting bigger?  I find myself doing lunges while holding onto the washing machine. What’s going on? working out? ummm… interesting, shall we say. Will I wake up one day in mom jeans and white sneakers? I’ll tell you exactly what it is. Before, you were your main priority. You go from being hot and trendy, to being tragic and boring. Is it marriage, kids, or just a sense of comfort and conformity? Is it okay to stop looking hot for your hubby? How to get your SEXY back Clearly, the answer is Hell NO. You all know there is no excuse for looking crazy. Brace yourselves, I will admit that when I hang out around the house, I look insane. My hair is in a messy bun and I usually wear the yuckiest clothes I own. I pretty...

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There are two sides to every DIVORCE

Divorce. Di- Vorce. Di Di Di Di VORCE! There was no way of saying it without wanting to vomit. It sounded terrible. I never thought I would EVER be a divorcee. I had this picture in my head of me sitting by myself at a bar, wearing a white tank top with black bra straps and lipstick on my teeth, talking to the bartender about my no good ex-husband. I couldn’t be that person. I wouldn’t be that person. How could I tell people I was even getting divorced? I was a wife. I was the Trophy Wife, for God’s sake! More importantly, how could I spin this? How could I make this work for me? One day, after about a week of not stepping into our home, I decided to go back to pack up a few things, and the house was completely empty....

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1 Of My Favorite Trends, Ring Stacking

1 Of My Favorite Trends, Ring Stacking It’s time to start accessorizing those pretty fingers of yours, 1 Of My Favorite Trends, Ring Stacking. The accessory world right now is overloading on the most coveted rings of yours, one on top of the other. Whoever said less is more was wrong because this season, it’s all about the more the merrier when it comes to rings. Move over arm candy — start ring stacking! I was never one to add more than one ring to a finger when accessorizing.  I always thought it was a golden rule to only wear one or two rings on separate fingers but boy, was I wrong?! I have since started trying my hand at ring stacking and have found it to be really fun. If you haven’t given ring stacking a try, my tip is to have one main...

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Something About Small Talk

I went to the supermarket recently for my weekly shopping trip, one of the few wifey activities I dread. Before I get into my supermarket ordeal, I should mention that Something About Small Talk and picking out tomatoes makes me die a little. It’s gotten to the point where I smell, poke and squeeze them, and still pick a crappy one. Why God? Why make a “fruit” that’s so complicated? and the whole fruit thing? I’ve chosen not to believe it. Back to the story. So, there I was hanging out in the produce section, when another young lady started picking out tomatoes right next to me. In a panic, I asked her if she could help me select a winner. She did and I thanked her. As I was proudly bagging my tomatoes, the young lady noticed and complemented my ring. I love when that...

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Weight Loss, Gyms, Personal Trainers and Weight Machines that belong in S&M Dungeons

So in February or June….? After a particularly violent episode of  ”Watch Janet struggle to put on her True Religions” I decided it was time to perhaps lose the extra sumthin sumthin that I was passing off as smuggling Oreo’s under my sweater (“Nooo I’m not thick! I just ran out of grocery bags and used the stretchy waistband of my jeggings to help me carry things! I SWEAR!”).   I knew that if I just got a gym membership I would carry the card around in my Prada bag until six months later when I inevitably would throw it out in a cleaning binge. So I did some fancy math and decided if I cut out all the appetizers I’d been eating during happy hour while socializing and the mocha latte’s with whip cream on top and switch to sugar free red bull,I had been doing on the...

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